By Judith Cline, Transformation Guide and Energy Intuitive (Reiki Master)
In the fall of 2019, I was invited to speak on the topic of vulnerability at the beautiful Circle of Strength Women’s Event in honour of Karla’s 50th birthday. I am so honoured to be a guest blogger here and to share my musings on the event and more on this topic. Especially now, when so many of us feel vulnerable physically, mentally, and emotionally as a result of the pandemic and events of the past year.
Since the Circle of Strength Event, I know I have evolved. As a Transformation Guide and Energy Intuitive, the journey is all about growing, shifting, and changing. The pandemic created a unique opportunity for all of us to look inward, so that we can move forward in our lives with a renewed outlook on what is important.
Karla’s event gave participants the opportunity to explore topics like self-love, vulnerability, and gratitude. There was such an electric feel to the day: anticipation, love, humour, creativity, artistry, friendship, gratitude, support, and connection. That combination is rare and says a great deal about Karla’s vision and its fulfillment. Those who were in the “know” about what would emerge over the course of the day facilitated everything with such grace. Those who were participating ventured into each tent with curiosity and openness. Maybe a little trepidation was experienced, because those of you who knew Karla, knew she wanted you to experience something at a soul level.
As the facilitator for the I Am Vulnerable Workshop, I had some apprehension at the depth of the topic:
Could I get through reading Karla’s letter 4 times without tearing up?
How would each woman feel about taking that inward journey to look at where they felt vulnerable or shame?
It was not for me to know what each participant explored. I didn’t get to ask how it felt and if anything shifted inside of them. I did, however, get to witness and hear of the cathartic release when everyone burned their handwritten notes.
The paradox of vulnerability lies in the view that you are made weaker by being vulnerable, instead of stronger, more resilient, and empowered.
I have seen people resort to extreme measures to hide their vulnerability. Here are a few examples:
- Addictions – Eating, Smoking, Drinking, Exercise, Shopping, Complaining, Sex
- Toxic positivity – nothing is ever wrong
- Self-Imposed barriers that manifest internally and with others
- Overemphasized sarcasm/humor and fear of taking life seriously
The list goes on and I am certain each one of you could add to it.
One of the major lessons I have learned about vulnerability is that it takes courage beyond measure to face those dark places in yourself where you have hidden away shameful, humiliating, even traumatic experiences (which you may blame yourself for) and the accompanying feelings.
Usually, these experiences occurred some time ago and shaped how you see yourself. They are rooted in the past but influence how you view yourself in the present and how you think the world sees you. The likelihood is that you are nothing like the perceptions you created out of these past situations. Yet, these past events inform your emotional responses to most of your current interactions with people, places, and things!
You may feel powerless, ashamed, insecure, stuck, lost, sad, or lonely. These feelings are not always conscious, but it is like a computer operating system, always running in the background.
To free yourself from seeing vulnerability as a weakness or something to hide, you need to open yourself to those past hurts. It is so important to allow the sensations to rise in your body, feel them, and sit with them. Your first instinct will be to repress them, to run away from them, to cover them over with activity of any kind.
Try something different. Become a compassionate observer and experience these reactions with curiosity.
Observe the feelings, bear witness to the way your body needs to express itself and allow compassion for yourself to come to the forefront. You don’t have to become the emotions but experiencing them is part of the way the body is able to release them.
An anonymous source put it like this:
Sit with it…
Instead of drinking it away, smoking it away, sleeping it away, eating it away, f@#king it away, or running from it. Healing happens by feeling.
Sit with it…
As you sense the emotions, it is okay to be gentle, soft, kind, tender, and loving with yourself. Take the time you need, don’t rush the experience. This act of self-love may be new to you. You might feel the need to journal, cry, scream, or move to help the energy release.
And then let someone in. Share your vulnerabilities in ways you never thought possible. You and I cannot do this alone. You need a support system, a team or a person who knows you and will hold you accountable to be your most authentic self. Scary, yes, but rewarding without question.
When you create the opportunity to share, allow yourself to crash through the barriers of self-protection. Envision the release and ultimate relief of letting go of all that energy you no longer need to contain or conceal.
Sense the energetics of freedom and expansion as you open your heart, then imagine the experience of sharing those innermost places like the fireworks at Karla’s 50th celebration…transforming into breath-taking bursts of beauty, colour, and magic.
Judith Cline, Transformation Guide and Energy Intuitive (Reiki Master)
Judith spent over 20 years in the social services field, both in the non-profit and for-profit sectors. She worked with at risk, vulnerable adolescents with the Children’s Aid Society, as well as children and adults diagnosed with multiple handicaps and brain injuries in combination with mental health issues. Judith started as a frontline worker, progressing through supervisor roles all the way to CEO. About 8 years ago, she underwent a significant awakening where her intuitive and channeling gifts manifested, as well as her ability to facilitate other’s self-healing. Although she had psychic experiences throughout her life, she had never imagined creating a business that would serve others with these gifts. Now, her role as transformation guide and energy intuitive is her passion and her life’s purpose.